


First love

by Midnight_Sorrow



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Fluff and Smut, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-19
Updated: 2015-04-19
Packaged: 2018-03-24 19:04:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3780913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midnight_Sorrow/pseuds/Midnight_Sorrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Lee Donghae realises he's in love with his best friend Lee Hyukjae.</p>
            </blockquote>





	First love

Lee Donghae realises that he's in love with Hyukjae when he meets Hyukjae's girlfriend Hyoyeon. They are sitting in park in the middle of Seoul when they hear a female voice coming from the other side of the park. Donghae is a bit confused at first because he doesn't have any female friends. He never really enjoyed their company. But he soon realises who she is when Hyukjae shyly kisses her, and Donghae isn't really that happy at all, he keeps it to himself the rest of the day, instead he decides to glare holes into the back of the girls head.

When Donghae comes home he furiously slams his bedroom door shut. He drops down on his bed and rubs his eyes but then realises it's a bad idea as it hurts his eyes. He lays his head down on his pillow and tries to figure out why the fuck he cares so much. He can't just not understand why he suddenly cares so much and he dosn't understand why it hurts so much. He decides that the pain will disappear tomorrow, so he goes to sleep with his clothes on and his mom shakes her head when she sees her son sleeping in his clothes she kisses him goodnight.

When Donghae wakes up the next morning it is because he feels like someone just fucking jumped on him. Which is right Hyukjae is indeed sitting on his stomach. He tries to push him of him but Hyukjae is so fucking strong these days. 

"Move you fat ass you're crushing me." He jokes and Hyukjae let's out an offending sound. But he does move, well after he slaps Donghae's head.

"Thanks really helps my self esteem you ass." Hyukjae lays down beside him and he turns his head towards Donghae. He opens his mouth a few times like he's trying to say something but just doesn't know how to. 

Donghae decides that he doesn't want to hear what Hyukjae has to say because he just knows that it has something to do with Hyoyeon. So he quickly walkes to the drawer picking up his school uniform. He doesn't miss the sad look on Hyukjae's face as he ignores him. 

The shower is warm and it's nice and he just doesn't want to get out, because then he would have to face Hyukjae. But he then realises that he can't stand in the shower forever if he dosen't want to look like a fucking raisin. He dresses quickly and brushes his teeth. He skips breakfast because he didn't like the feeling in his stomach today and he thought that if he ate he would throw it all up.

School is the worst because appearently Hyoyeon is new in his school and Donghae wondered how she and Hyukjae know each other. But he finds out later when she tells him that she and Hyukjae met in dance class in Hyukjae's school. He really tries to avoid her, not because he want's to hurt her but because it hurts him. It hurts so much and Donghae can still not figure it out why it hurts. But then he really can't because she's such and amazing and kind person and he just can't avoid someone so kind hearted. 

When school comes to an end he and Hyukjae meets up infront of a small little coffee shop. It fells a bit different, first of all that fucking feeling comes back when Hyukjae and Hyoyeon kisses goodbye and Hyukjae tells her that he's going to call her. 

It's just so different because he feels so fucking awful and his heart hurts so fucking much. And it is when Hyukjae rubs his back and touches his forehead to see if he has a fever and he maybe accedently looks into his eyes, that he realises that he might be crushing on his best friend. He quickly pushes Hyukjae's hand away hurriedly and says that he has to go home. Hyukjae is a bit confused but Donghae doesn't have time for this even though his heart hurts because Hyukjae looks so sad.

When he comes home he is breathless and almost in tears. His mom come in from the kitches and asks why he's so breathless and why he's crying. He stares at her for a while and he doesn't really realise that she's hugging him until he let's out a pitiful sob, and it's so fucking embarrassing because he hasn't cried in front of her since his father died, and his mom doens't ask but let's him lean on her. 

"Sweetie what happen? was it Hyukjae? did you guys fight?" His mom asks him a lot of questions after he has calmed down a little and he doesn't know what to tell her. How do you tell your own mom that you're in love with your best friend who also happens to be a male.

"I-I can't tell you mom i-i just don't know if i can." His voice shakes a bit after all the crying. 

"Okay but Donghae you have to know that i love you and i will always be here for you okay?" His mom gives him a peck on his cheeks and Donghae whines a little. His mom was to much sometimes come on he is 17 for god sake.

"I-if i tell you will you promise not to judge me mom cause i just have to tell someone." Donghae shakes a little but and he kind of feels like throwing up. His mom nods and smiles at him, he takes a deep breath and then he says it.

"I-i think im in love with Hyukjae mom and i just don't know what to do." Donghae kind of expects a slap maybe a punch, yelling. What he doesn't exptect is the hand that comes up to stroke his fringe away. 

"Ohh sweetie im so sorry i don't know what you can do have you talked to him?" Donghae looks at her in shook and he's kind of scared because he kind of exptected a slap. 

"Wait you're not angry at me?" Donghae asks confusedly.

"Of course not silly you're my son and i love you no matter what and i kind of had a feeling you where never really close with girls." Donghae chokes a bit and looks at her a bit stupidly. Donghae doesn't really say anything after that he's still a bit shocked. But his mom says that it alright and tells him to go clean up and go to sleep. Donghae does a bit shakenly though. 

Donghae wakes up the next morning and he really doesn't feel like going to school. He tells his mom that he feels sick but he knows that she understands. He sees that he has quite a few texts from Hyukjae and four missed calls. He doesn't reply to them he feels bad but he has some soul searching to do.

It was supposed to be one day then he would go back to school and then talk to Hyukjae again but Donghae didn't really feel like it because he felt that if he would be close to Hyukjae his heart would hurt more so he ignores him and stays home the whole week. His mom is angry but understands him in a away and let's him. Donghae feels so fucking guilty because he got more texts and missed calls and he just cant. 

The day came eventually when he had to go back to school. Well it wasn't actually his mom who forced him to go, it was Hyukjae. He had found the spare key and that morning when he was sleeping Hyukjae had woken him up and scolded him and Donghae had to go to school. 

And after that he kind of had come to terms with the fact that yes he was indeed in love with his best friend and that he would never be his. But he had to live with it because he saw how happy Hyukjae was with Hyoyeon. It hurt him but Hyukjae's happiness comes first and that was all that mattered. Hyoyeon was lovely and a nice person and he just couldn't be mean to her at all. He had decided that he never would tell Hyukjae that he was in love with him and then eventually his crush on Hyukjae would disappear, oh dear was he wrong.

*******

He never ever thought he and Hyukjae would fight and he never thought that he would confess to him. But he did accedenlty when they fought. They had an argument about Hyoyeon and that Hyukjae shouldn't get back together with her because it would just end like always. Hyukjae would end up hurt and Donghae would comfort him like he had done the past months. Hyukjae's and Hyoyeon's realation ship didn't really work as well as they thought. They fought all the time and Donghae was so fucking tired of it.

 

"Come on Hyukjae you can't go on about this you're only hurting!." Donghae was standing up his hands on his hip he was yelling which he never did.

"Oh come on Donghae you can't decide what i do or not. She's sorry that she kissed him and i know she's truly sorry!." Hyukjae was yelling now to which was kind of not normal either.

"Really! didn't mean to! are you really that fucking stupid and dense Lee Hyukjae." Donghae tried to calm down but fuck he was angry.

"Stop trying to control me and my life! why the fuck do care so much anyway it's my life not yours." Hyukjae was screaming again pretty fucking loudly.

"Because im in love with you! can't you see that gosh why are you so fucking dense. Im so fucking madly in love with you and it fucking hurts me seeing you hurt like this to." Donghae only seconds later understood what he had said and he kind of fucking panicked. He had tears rolling down his eyes he must have had looked so fucking pathetic right now. 

Hyukjae had stared at him like he was a monster or something than walked out of there so fucking fast that he knew that Hyukjae hated him. Donghae sat down on the couch, thank good his mom was out. He brushed away the tears that was falling, this! this was a fucking nightmare. He slapped his forehead 'IDIOT' he screamed out loud. He couldn't fucking belive how stupid he was and how he could have let that slip. He angrily walked to his room and throwed himself on his bed screaming loudly in pain and in agony his heart was hurting and he was so angry.

****

A month went by and Hyukjae hadn't talked to him ever since he confessed to him and that made his heart hurt. He had tried to call him a few times but all he got was voicemail and after the third week he gave up. His grades had dropped and he stayed away from school scared that Hyukjae had told everyone. His mom had been furious when she had seen his grades and Donghae had broken down telling her exactly what had happened. His mom had hugged him and told him that even if Hyukjae didn't talk to him he was still his friend and that Hyukjae still loved him. Donghae had laughed bitterly at it and walked straight to his room burying his face in the pillow and cried again.

Another month had gone by and Donghae was standing in front of school nervously tapping his foot until he got the courage to walk in to the school. He must have been the luckiest person alive because it was just the same. Hyukjae hadn't told anyone and Donghae was so fucking greatfull. School went by in a flash without any words being thrown at him so he had a pretty good day well at least how good it could get. 

When Donghae walked home he saw something that made his stomach curl Hyukjae was standing there and Donghae quickly turned around hoping Hyukjae hadn't seen him which thank good he hadn't. He had gone freaking ninja and avoided him well until he kind of stumbled and falled down a small flight of stairs. Hyukjae had turned around and Donghae wished he could get swallowed by the ground. He quickly got up and limped home as fast as he could. Fucking hell Hyukjae was just as perfect as ever and that hurt even more because he didn't realise how much he fucking longed after him. 

Donghae was a fucking mess his eyes started to look so fucking dark and not happy looking that even his teaher had gone to the counselor and he had to have fucking sessions every fucking friday. But he was kind of glad because the counselor was such a nice person. His name was Park Jungsoo and he was the nicest person he ever had met. Donghae had told him everything and Jungsoo didn't judge and for that Donghae was happy. He told him that he sometimes would have very dark thoughts and Jungsoo had been so nice and tried to help him. He helped Donghae to put back his broken heart as much as it could be repaired. 

*****

It was summer vacation when Donghae had heard the front door being kicking open he had been so fucking surprised seeing Hyukjae there in the door way looking so fucking angry and so fucking perfect. Donghae had stared at him a little bit scared because he had never ever seen him like this.

"H-hyukjae what are you doing here." His voice shaked and he kind of hated his life right now. 

"You! You fucking asshole how can you do this to me!" Donghae looked at him in suprise w-what.

"W-what do you mean i haven't done anything to you! you can't just come here and blame me for things i haven't done!" Donghae was fucking confused and a little fucking hurt! 

"You made me feel like this you made me feel like this do you here me!" Hyukjae screamed and took a step foreward. 

"What? made you feel? what i don't understand." Donghae's voice was quiet, for a while he thought that Hyukjae didn't hear him. 

Well that was until he felt the wall against his back and fuck it hurt. Hyukjae had pinned him to the wall and Donghae had been to shocked to push him away. Hyukjae was so fucking close and he almost feel his lips. His breath hitched and his heart was beating so fucking much.

"You, it's all your fault i-i can't stop thinking about you. Ever since that day i-i just can't stop thinking about you and how perfect your smile is." Donghae hadn't gotten the chance to answer because Hyukjae had pressed his lips against his.Donghae first had fought against him but when he had seen Hyukjae tears he kissed back.

It was never supposed to go so fast but Hyukjae suddenly had him pressed against the wall with his legs and arms around him. Hyukjae fucking him against the wall of the livingroom. It was so fucking good feeling him inside him he scratched his back and moaned loudly as Hyukjae's dick pressed against his prostate he had never felt this good and alive. His back was hurting so much but it felt so fucking good. And it felt so much better when Hyukjae had changed postion and his dick slammed into his prostate at ever thrust and he was so close to losing his mind.

"Ah! I love you so fucking much!" 

That was it Donghae released a loud moan and scratched Hyukjae's back as he came his body shaking. Hyukjae thrusted a few times before coming, biting down into his shoulder. He pulled out of him and let him down carefully but had to wrap an arm around Donghae waist as Donghae wasn't able to stand on his own feet. Hyukjae's hand came up to caressing Donghae's cheek giving him a kiss. 

"I fucking love you" Hyukjae whispered against his lips.

Donghae gave out a sob and wrapped his arms around him. "W-what about with Hyoyeon?" Donghae shakenly asked. "I broke up with her a month ago when i realised how much i missed you and couldn't live without you." 

Hyukjae carried him to his room to lay him down on the bed he got under the covers snuggled up to him whispering how much he loved him and Donghae was the happiest person alive.

Donghae realises as he stares at Hyukjae through the door to their shared bedroom in their new house that he was glad that he didn't give up and that he waited because that was the best thing he had ever done.

**Author's Note:**

> hi guys my second EunHae fic i hope you enjoy it!


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